On Charles Bukowski's Epitaph

"Don't try."

Many people read the epitaph of one of America’s great writers and wonder: “why?”

He wrote prolifically all his life and achieved the kind of success most creative people dream of but never achieve: celebrity and wealth while living.

What did he mean by “Don’t Try”? Clearly he tried and succeeded.

Much of the discussion I’ve read on this equates it with the advice Master Yoda gave a young Luke Skywalker with his “Do or do not; there is no try.”

While that might be true, I think it only reaches surface level.

He meant it as “don’t try to be anything other than what you are” - as in, don’t “try” to be a writer. You either are one - and you have to do it - or you aren’t, and you shouldn’t.

Here’s one of his more famous poems which I think supports this, although I suppose it could also be used to defend the Master Yoda interpretation:

“If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don't even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery--isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you'll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is.”

This goes beyond mere “doing” - this is “being” that which you seek. It goes beyond seeking. This is burning desire, obsessive passion. If you don’t have a great conflagration within you to do something, don’t even bother.

Bukowski continues elsewhere:

“If something burns your soul with purpose and desire, it’s your duty to be reduced to ashes by it. Any other form of existence will be yet another dull book in the library of life.”

This alludes to the point of view that the creative process often isn’t even driven by the creator. The way he writes here, he suggests that it’s something that is part of your soul - that you can’t NOT do it. It comes from within, and you have to see it through.

“unless it comes out of
your soul like a rocket,
unless being still would
drive you to madness or
suicide or murder,
don't do it.”

Charles Bukowski was a starving writer who was a miserable drunk womanizing asshole. Then he became a famous, wealthy writer who was a miserable drunk womanizing asshole.

He never changed; his nature was what it was. So I think his parting advice is simply to follow your true nature.

Learn to listen for its whispers and follow it all the way to the end.

if it doesn't come bursting out of you
in spite of everything,
don't do it.
unless it comes unasked out of your
heart and your mind and your mouth
and your gut,
don't do it.
if you have to sit for hours
staring at your computer screen
or hunched over your
typewriter
searching for words,
don't do it.
if you're doing it for money or
fame,
don't do it.
if you're doing it because you want
women in your bed,
don't do it.
if you have to sit there and
rewrite it again and again,
don't do it.
if it's hard work just thinking about doing it,
don't do it.
if you're trying to write like somebody
else,
forget about it.

if you have to wait for it to roar out of
you,
then wait patiently.
if it never does roar out of you,
do something else.

if you first have to read it to your wife
or your girlfriend or your boyfriend
or your parents or to anybody at all,
you're not ready.

don't be like so many writers,
don't be like so many thousands of
people who call themselves writers,
don't be dull and boring and
pretentious, don't be consumed with self-
love.
the libraries of the world have
yawned themselves to
sleep
over your kind.
don't add to that.
don't do it.
unless it comes out of
your soul like a rocket,
unless being still would
drive you to madness or
suicide or murder,
don't do it.
unless the sun inside you is
burning your gut,
don't do it.

when it is truly time,
and if you have been chosen,
it will do it by
itself and it will keep on doing it
until you die or it dies in you.

there is no other way.

and there never was.

So You Want to be a Writer